What's on my mind today?
Ermm (generating neuron) ooya! I don't know, may be I'm thinking about my future, I want a blissful life later, GUY? Erm, don't want to think it further, may be what I need not the same as what I want. I guess I just want a very ordinary man one, trustworthy, loyal to me of course, and as long as he can make me happy. That's all. Other minor qualities are not important. Handsome? I think I prefer not-so-handsome one. (Good looking is enough) Why? Because I want his heart one and only just for me. Ermm, whatever la, yang penting sy bahagia dengan dia even though dia byk kkurangan :)
Popular one? SURELY NOT IN MY LIST.
Handsome in heart? Yeah. Very ordinary one? Yeah.
Pendek kata, I want sebiji like my dad :) He's very gentle (gentle dari mummy XD), kind and his sacrifices over anything in this world. That's why I admire him the most. Ok stop talking about my dad, rasa cam mau menangis pla. I miss my dad. :'( I love him.
It will be a real great amazing blessing if sy kelak dapat partner mcm dia. Ordinary person, humble, and very loyal to my mum.
I remember when I went to ikut my dad's office and the way he treats the gardener and the foreign workers (Indonesians I suppose) that buat the ladang pertanian one, really made me melt in heart. So nice. I don't know myself if I can do the same. I don't know myself if sy as the atasan one turun pdg n work like them. Sometimes, this matter really make me cry. And I did.
1 ja perkara dady buat yang paling menyakitkan hati saya sepanjang saya hidup. Dia slalu cakap " Kalau sy sda meninggal kelak....bla bla bla". "kalau saya sda tiada...bla bla...
sy xtau knapa dia ska sgt cakap mcm tu. :'(
I please God, biar la sy dlu yang pergi before him, because? I can't bear the pain. I can't afford to lose him. I rather die than to see him dying. And kalaupun dia sakit, I willing to replace his pain, his sadness.:'(
But sometimes I feel geram to him because he always happy, even when the time he stayed up to finish his works. To finish his kertas kerja. And he started it at 12 a.m . Because before that, he spent his poor time with us, give us some laughter, have a look on my brother's homework, watching television just next to mummy. Only after that, dia akn buat kerja dia, sometimes smpai pg :'(
Poor daddy, next morning he has to drive off to his office. I still remember when I was 5 till 12 years old. Jirra and I will watch kereta daddy hilang dari pandangan dulu baru kmi puas hati. Bila dia hilang dr selekoh, bru kmi puas hati. But now, I don't have the chance anymore. Every morning, tiap kali sy bangun dari tidur, how I wish I can watch him go for work.
He remains silent whenever mummy talk about my relationship. I know he can't accept the fact that I'm now a growing teenager, but deep into my heart, yes, I'm still his baby.
Plus, he always makes jokes. And that's why I love him so much. He wipes our tears with the laughter of happiness. I miss you, daddy :'(
Every time he leaves me, I will cry. That's all I know :'(
Sometimes, I feel so grateful of still having a wonderful parents like my mum and dad. I'm so sad that my good friend of mine said that her father is no longer in this world. How she wish her father comes again in her life, even once and laugh together with them. I feel so sorry to her. Each time she talks about that, I will cry in silence. God, how we wish You can give her the chance. She says she will do anything for that.
Father in HEAVEN, You are the great amongst all the fathers in this world, You know all our needs and You are the source of laughter and happiness. Helps us to love our fathers and bless all fathers in this world so that everyone may live in peace and harmony. AMEN
Okay, the topic sda melentur jauh, walau apapun, ini smua ikhlas dr hati sy.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAD. :'(
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