3.17 AM

It's 3.17 am, Feel satisfied because managed to finish all slides of Gerko Presentation for my group . Bet everyone relax today, baru hantar assignment, maybe not all of us aware of the tomorrow's presentation, I almost forgot,too. I don't know if the work would be accepted but I already try the very best. Started since 2 am. Not bad la kan. Oklah, my tired eyes need rest. Thank you for your cooperation! Muahh.

Jill!

Each time I urged myself to sabar when dealing with ppl, I'm able to do it, but whenever I urged myself NOT-TO-JEALOUS, it's very hard, mengalahkan soalan add maths, practically, mengalahkan benda-benda pelik freaking hard d dunia. kalau la ada UBAT-PENAWAR-JEALOUS, ataupun PIL-PENGHILANG-MEMORI-SESUDAH-TERDETIK-RASA-JELES kan bagus. x pyhla ssh hati fikir benda mcm ni, bgs ssh hati sampai pengsan fkir assgnment.


Dengan ini sy mengisytiharkan, Jill Erice Jimmer adalah creature paling tortuous di dunia.






Jill, grow up. 

19th August 2011

Peeps, suddenly something popped out in my mind. No money, no talk No pain, no gain. (My status for today)


Good night :) God bless you!

_________________________
I have added cool emoticons to this message.
To see them go to http://x.exps.me?e56f91589e8496217cf4d4c4cae0ade5

I'M REALLY GETTING OVER YOU

I found your picture in my laptop
Still got your sweater in my closet
And all your letters in my boxes

And people ask me how I'm doing?
But every question still has you in
I say I'm fine
And I never think about you
As you're almost forgotten

I'm getting over you!
I'm getting over you most of the time!
If I say it like I mean it
Then maybe I'll believe it like it's true


I've been playing all the songs you hated
As if it is the one that I much loved
And I'm having fun
And I'm better off without you
And I think it's what I want


Even if it takes forever
I'll get myself together
I've been doing be so much better





and you'll never win the heart back 
since the very moment you dropped it.

MYSELF IS MY OWN FOE

I HATE MYSELF .

To my dearest, K10 , and friends :)

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this place we won't be coming back
No more hanging out because we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now because you don't have another day
because we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that day in October
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
FRIENDS FOREVER!

So if we get the job
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned here?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Eugene always be the genius man ever?
Still be Karen with her yoga?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us around?Will these memories fade when we leave this town?
:)

Thanks God :)

Tired. Just got back from early dinner. Have a lol time all the way. Take a nap for a short while ! Got discussion at 830, must wake up before 730!


'gudnite' !


Thanks Father for this beautiful day. I love you so much. And help me to appreciate things around me, Amen.

Positive.

whoah ;)


Feel so contented and satisfied with my life today. Straight after class, I continued my BM Assignment and managed to finish it completely before 5 pm! :) So, tonight, I've less work to do, erm actually there's many works await every single of us. so, having realized that, I continued our Gerko Assignment and yeah, thanks God, and special gratitude to library's book and to internet and knowledge that we gained from Che Siah. Softball, love the theories more than practical =.='


However, more and more works await us. It just the matter how we handle and manage the time. When you determine to finish even 3000 words essay in 1 hour, nothing is impossible. You can do it. And just do it. But again sometimes, yup, the sources are hard to find, so pandai-pandai jalah kn kita sebagai student.


Ignore and forget the bitterness, llive your life to the fullest! :)




Assignments:
PM 1, PN, BM, done!


Gerko, SS- Half


God bless!

I LOVE ALICE JILL ERICE JIMMER!

hidup mesti selalu gembira dan gembira dan terus gembira! ^_^

walau apapun yang terjadi, terus gembira!

bila anda sakit hati, terus senyum!

^____^

What the. -______-
once upon a time! -__-

Sometimes, I feel I want to own big eyes but I think I'm grateful what I have, what God had given me :]

Anger

ANGER can destroy everything. EVERYTHING. 

Last night, I went so angry. Till now, I don't remember what I'd say. That was the climax of anger in my life, for now. No one embarrassed me before to that extend. I don't expect everyone to respect me, but that's the fact, he's the one and only person in my life had made me crazy like that. 

Until now, SUNDAY MORNING (7 August 2011) I can still feel the sense of anger in me. I don't know why me? WHY me? I never disturb people's life, I never wear dress yang ganggu hidup orang lain, I never expose myself and they get angry with me. I think I just being moderate in this whole life. Why don't he curse the other girl? He such just hypocrite. HYPOCRITE! Depan orang lain baik pla but when I behave more or less like them dia marah pla! Curse me pakai baju seksi d fb la , where?where? ! :'(

Till now, I still can't hold my anger and this is the first time I behave like this in life. 

I feel like I want to cry when he say "go pengsan la!" ...I know I'm a weak person, I don't need you to mention that for over and over again. .and that is not a good saying from bf to gf :( :(

I miss my family and when I feel like this di tempat orang, I feel alone, there's no one I can rely on here. TOTALLY ALONE. They always say 'kau kuat bah'.. 'kau tida apa2'..even though when it comes to real life, I'm not. But their love brighten my day, every single words that they say, cheer me up.

May be if you say sorry after this, may be I just smile, because the sorry is already immune to me. YOU AND I have been saying it for million times and the sorry didn't change anything. The precious sorry is meaningless.

I cried every time I turn to CF page. I really don't expect this to happen to me. Active worshiper turn to passive one. I miss my primary and secondary and also when I was in Sarawak. Everything is clear and I satisfied as I took part in the activities, sing songs, till now I can still memorize all the songs that I've learnt, how much I miss that. But I feel that inferior here. Every time I feel like want to post something d CF page, I can't, saya rasa saya tak layak. I withdraw myself. And when I first go to CF this semester, I feel hurt when my own bf say something that really make me tak layak untuk pergi CF lagi. I expect him to give me strength but he really make me so down. May be he didn't feel it, because I always keep everything in heart..................May be I shouldn't go again..

Every time I read Bible and pray Rosary in my room, I cried and I feel so small. I feel peace and  being accepted by the Father, even though I'm sinner. ALLELUIA LORD..

Sometimes, somehow I feel like dying. I feel like every emotions and feelings that I convey in my life are fake. Still, I'm thankful to God because I still able to breathe.

TO MY BELOVED, I don't blame you for this. May be it's my fault. My fault for bringing you along in my world, in my life full of complications, and if you think it's a mistake for you because have me in my life, then you know what to do, yet I appreciate what I have in my life, it's you.

 

OCTOBER ME :)

OCTOBER

Clairvoyant : 

Seldom people believe I have this. Certain people. It scared me, sometimes. Well, what do you expect when you tell friends about this? Love you more? None such thing.

Nature-lover: 

Yes, I am !

You are a born-leader: 

Am I? No longer me.

People look up to you:

 Ea? Nope. Don't think so.

Amiable: 

Not that extend. Easy-going, ya.

Honest: 

I think so :)

More emotional than practical: 

HAHA, unfortunately, ya. TEARS is synonym to me.

Rebellious at times: 

Of course. HAHA

Totally independent: 

Totally?? "Semi-total" , ya.

Good looker:

 I have my own perspectives, yet, I don't tend to judge people. 

Clever: 

Clever? Say ya for primary and secondary education. Well, I'm getting old, now, I tend to forget things. >.<

Faithful towards family, friends and your love:

 Break my heart into million pieces, hit me on the face, still, I won't find another family, another friends and another love, because no one on this earth can replace them. You don't throw precious diamonds that hurt your hands with their quality while holding them. 

You give importance where due: 

That's me. Never take things for granted. That's the reason why I always get hurt even when it comes to small things :'(

Dedicated and hard working: 

Ya, at times. But usually the qualities come in the brink of last minute. >.<

FAINTED

I could feel the sunburn on my skin during sort of long walk from night market to IPG. Everything was okay back then until the moments I reached my room. I knew something went wrong with me, I tried to ignore that feeling, I changed my baju kurung and pretending there were nothing not so right. Eating, texting, . . looking on the previous lesson's paper. .


Till I feel something very painful hit in my head. Great dizziness. I laid down on my bed, blurred vision. I was fainted. I know it's coming back. Since last two weeks, I felt dizzy in a specific period of time, my leg cramped. 


I could hear my room  mate calling me, put her hands on my forehead, I tried to speak but I can't. Till I realized that I fainted for the second time. 


I don't know what to do, seriously. My mum is not here, my besty is not here, the someone who help me went  through all these those days has completely disappeared in my life. I feel totally empty. What should I do? I can't recall any of the things that I've done to reduce this pain. 


Why now, why in Semester 3, why should now, why not last semester. 


I love seeing people who live healthy life, it seems that they have zero problem. Sometimes, somehow, I want to be like them to, even for a very while, that would be enough. 


I know I'm smiling everyday, people don't recognized me as I bear very hard burden in my life. They don't see me as what I am. But I'm glad for that because I love to see them happy. 


Yes, this is me. One of the unfortunate people. I carry burden that people don't see. People ignore me . When I listen to other's problem, I put myself in theirs and in silence I will cry for them. 


But I strongly believe Jesus have prepared something for me. Something that world itself cannot give. 


For a moment, I hope no one read this post. .

WAYS TO KEEP RELATIONSHIP WORKING WELL :)

• love each other.
• don’t lie.
• keep communication open.
• stay sweet.
• never talk about break-ups.
• never say it’s ok when it’s not.
• forget about pride.
• if you say sorry, mean it.
• don’t compare your past with your present.
• don’t talk about your ex’s.
• give and take process.
• beware of his/her feelings.
• don’t be perfect one, BE THE RIGHT ONE.

Thanks Edward @ Nita Ahim for making me realizes of all these things :) 

I hope for everlasting relationships. AMEN

And I'm sorry, you have to face all the difficulties that I'd create all this while. >.<

I LOVE YOU

alicejillerice 

It's very confusing , you know.

That very confusing moment when you feel that someone behaves cold to you when you don't know even tiny things why she/he expressing like that.


This moment I wanna know:


WHY?
WHAT?


I wish I know my mistakes so that I can improve and fix things.


Why?


:'(


If you read this, I hope you understand because I really care.


Fit yourself in my life and feel what I feel when all of sudden be like this.


I don't want to repeat all the hurtful moments over and over again.

My Future Husband *.*

What's on my mind today?


Ermm (generating neuron) ooya! I don't know, may be I'm thinking about my future, I want a blissful life later, GUY? Erm, don't want to think it further, may be what I need not the same as what I want. I guess I just want a very ordinary man one, trustworthy, loyal to me of course, and as long as he can make me happy. That's all. Other minor qualities are not important. Handsome? I think I prefer not-so-handsome one. (Good looking is enough) Why? Because I want his heart one and only just for me. Ermm, whatever la, yang penting sy bahagia dengan dia even though dia byk kkurangan :)


Popular one? SURELY NOT IN MY LIST. 


Handsome in heart? Yeah. Very ordinary one? Yeah. 


Pendek kata, I want sebiji like my dad :) He's very gentle (gentle dari mummy XD), kind and his sacrifices over anything in this world. That's why I admire him the most. Ok stop talking about my dad, rasa cam mau menangis pla. I miss my dad. :'( I love him.


It will be a real great amazing blessing if sy kelak dapat partner mcm dia. Ordinary person, humble, and very loyal to my mum. 


I remember when I went to ikut my dad's office and the way he treats the gardener and the foreign workers (Indonesians I suppose) that buat the ladang pertanian one, really made me melt in heart. So nice. I don't know myself if I can do the same. I don't know myself if sy as the atasan one turun pdg n work like them. Sometimes, this matter really make me cry. And I did.  


1 ja perkara dady buat yang paling menyakitkan hati saya sepanjang saya hidup. Dia slalu cakap " Kalau sy sda meninggal kelak....bla bla bla". "kalau saya sda tiada...bla bla...
sy xtau knapa dia ska sgt cakap mcm tu. :'(


I please God, biar la sy dlu yang pergi before him, because? I can't bear the pain. I can't afford to lose him. I rather die than to see him dying. And kalaupun dia sakit, I willing to replace his pain, his sadness.:'(


But sometimes I feel geram to him because he always happy, even when the time he stayed up to finish his works. To finish his kertas kerja. And he started it at 12 a.m . Because before that, he spent his poor time with us, give us some laughter, have a look on my brother's homework, watching television just next to mummy. Only after that, dia akn buat kerja dia, sometimes smpai pg :'(


Poor daddy, next morning he has to drive off to his office. I still remember when I was 5 till 12 years old. Jirra and I will watch kereta daddy hilang dari pandangan dulu baru kmi puas hati. Bila dia hilang dr selekoh, bru kmi puas hati. But now, I don't have the chance anymore. Every morning, tiap kali sy bangun dari tidur, how I wish I can watch him go for work. 


He remains silent whenever mummy talk about my relationship. I know he can't accept the fact that I'm now a growing teenager, but deep into my heart, yes, I'm still his baby. 


Plus, he always makes jokes. And that's why I love him so much. He wipes our tears  with the laughter of happiness. I miss you, daddy :'(


Every time he leaves  me, I will cry. That's all I know :'(


Sometimes, I feel so grateful of still having a wonderful parents like my mum and dad. I'm so sad that my good friend of mine said that her father is no longer in this world. How she wish her father comes again in her life, even once and laugh together with them. I feel so sorry to her. Each time she talks about that, I will cry in silence. God, how we wish You can give her the chance. She says she will do anything for that.


Father in HEAVEN, You are the great amongst all the fathers in this world, You know all our needs and You are the source of laughter and happiness. Helps us to love our fathers and bless all fathers in this world so that everyone may live in peace and harmony. AMEN


Okay, the topic sda melentur jauh, walau apapun, ini smua ikhlas dr hati sy.


I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DAD. :'(

I NEED A HUG :'(

I have super amazing God. I have lovely friends, I have very sweet family, concern Mummy, and caring boyfriend.


Yet, why I still feel the loneliness lies in me. :'(


I don't care tonight. I just want a hug. Hug that comforts me, shoulder where I can cry out my sadness.


Thanks blog for willingly listen to my everyday's sharing.

My version of Dr Jekyll and My Hyde :'(

BODOH ! BULL SHIT !


no guys ever make me like this, OMG !


 What's wrong with you, Jill. What's wrong with you, you can't concentrate to your work, you can't concentrate to anybody else. 


Jill, nothing wrong with you, may be you just think about it too much. 


No, Jill, something going wrong with you. May be in your head. No, in your heart. You love him so much isn't it? 


No.


Yes, you are. 


But, why?


I also don't know. Touch your heart and feel what are you thinking. :) 


No, I'm sick.  Because of this presentation, tomorrow would be English Studies Presentation and I'm not ready.


 You lie, Jill. You are absofuckingly lie. Lying is sin.


 Yes, I tell the truth.


Wait. You had cried when Chin dated and kissed another girl right?


Yes. So fucking what?


Nothing :)

You bullshit, just tell me.


No la, but remember? You were disappointed but you force yourself to cry :)

So what la.? Bodoh.

Don't call me bodoh la, you stupid. You're now crying so badly. Because of the same guy? :) NO..
You're even turn to this page than do your work because of him.

Can't you just shut up? Up to me la what to do.


I don't criticized you, I just want you to realize things in life.


What on earth is that thingy?


LOVE.


What so amazing is that thing? Yes, I'm in love now. I have boyfriend. 


He is your first love right? Your boyfriend now.


What in the sam hill are you talking about? Do not pretend like you're not me and do not pretend that you don't know anything.


Yes, I indeed tell the truth. I think you don't love Chin actually :)


Haa? Are you crazy or what? I spend most of my not-too-beautiful lifetime talking about him and mentioning his name. Even with my boyfriend now. -___-


YES, no one can't deny that. But, what the purpose you talking about him? Just to make your boyfriend jealous right? :)


WHAT!!! NO. OF COURSE NO.

HAHA, Jill, Jill. Do not deny things. Want me to tell you everything even from the very start?


WHATEVER.


Ya, you love chin. But not really love :) You always force yourself to cry when he did mistakes because you're not really care. 


-___-


Yes, you are, my stupid dear. Know what?


WHUTS you nut.


Oh, don't call me nut because what I'm going to tell you something  that will makes you look real nut.


OKAY, WHAT THE THING PRINCESS NUT?


If you really love Chin, you won't move out from the very amazing school. And he's the reason you went out. You had then went to a very strict school and you had then forced to wear the very panas baju kurung instead of skirt. WHICH THE ATTIRE YOU LIKE NOW. BECAUSE U'RE NUT.You could have to leave him, how could you to do that, but why? BECAUSE YOU DON'T LOVE HIM. ==


Hey! Watch out your words please. But ya, I can feel the truth in ya. A LITTLE BIT >.<


Want me to tell ya more? When you know Chin dated someone when you in new school? What have you done? You succeed to chill yourself and manage to rise up right? Now, don't ever twist my words.


OKAY, I'M SLEEPY. 


You haven't finish your LS essay.-__-


Buat la ni..

Is it clear? And it is, the things I would like to tell you know.

Apa lagi niiii?? I'm fucked up. Quick finish your words.

You real in love with your recent boyfriend.


Yala, so what.


I mean real in love. Different from your former one.


Okay.


Stop it Jill. You know the truth. Put yourself in my shoes. Walk into my life. Put your hands in my chest and feel each and every single of my heartbeats. You fucked up like dying just because he doesn't text you. Serve you right, it's your fault because you only know to merajuk :)


It's his fault! He look down upon me when I get started, when I get motivated! When I started to fix everything! And one more thing, You = me. Don't ever ask me to walk into my own awesome life.  


You know he never text another girl, he loves you one and only, he such a very kind guy. Don't hurt him Jill, if we see thing barely, you don't even deserve to have him. He deserves a very beautiful and kind girl. And the most important is woman who loves him more than you do. 


I love him so much :'(


That's the point. You love him so much. You get jealous even though he doesn't do the things. That's mean you love him so much. He is your very first love. Erase Chin Yuen Nen in your life and never restore him again :) 


The slight feeling has gone, FOREVER.


Yes, now I got you back my dear nut. You're pure Jill that I know. Go and move your life.


But..


But why nuts?


My boyfriend doesn't understand me, it seems like he never know me, my feelings. And I'm so curious that he will find others.


Give it all, give all your bewilderment, your uneasiness, your feelings to GOD. And I surely can't answer your perasaan ragu2. Ask Edward for that for he know everything you want to know. For now, best of luck. I go to sleep first.


Okay, goodnight, I want to finish my work first. Have a nice dream, Alice.




I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU, YOU KNOW :'(


:( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :(

OKAY.

Kenapa bah ko slalu suka kacau mood sy. Habis smua harapan sy utk minggu ni.


Minggu ni sy mau jadi anak Tuhan yang baik, anak mumy yang baik, kawan yang baik, roomate yang baik, girlfriend yang baik, but why msti slalu ada slh fhm kat kita??


NOW I SPECIFICALLY INTO THE PART "girlfriend YANG BAIK".


boleh kah at least dlm satu hari tu ko x kacau mood sy and just jaga hati sy. dah tau sy ni jenis yg sensitif tp ko behave like you never know that. aish.


dr pg td sy just jaga hati you, sy kept on tanya u ok kh x, mna2 yg selesa, n then i let u rest even i want u to be beside me, n sy sgt bimbang u sakit perut because u nvr reacted like u did last evening. n sy nak tlg u ambil mknan sbab sy mau jd gf yang baik n concern. tp knapa hrus jadi mcm ni.. knapa ko mcm xtau sy?


sakitnya bh hti ni slalu hari2 mcm ni. knapa bh ko mcm x knal ja prangai sy.. knapa msti kcu mood sy d saat sy komited mau brubah. KNAPA MSTI KO CAKAP SY MCM TU?? DAH TAU SY X SUKA KAN? YA U BOLEH CAKAP I HAVE TO TAKE THAT, BUT U DAH TAU SAYA, NAPA U MSTI MCM TU LAGI?


I want to be everything yg baik, i mean sy akn usaha but this one : gf yg baik, mayb i should surrender.
xtau mau mcmna sda..


whatever la. u ask me to go ahead, yes i will do that. well, im doing now. thanks ^^

OVERWHELMING ME WITH THE PAIN OF GUILT, THANKS.

Why so serious? Why so sensitive? It's not my fault when I don't reply your chat. I'm just not in mood. You say "Hi" but I didn't realized your chat because I was blogging that time and as well as now. :'(
And now you unfriend me, YES, you have overwhelmed me with the feeling of guilt. But it's okay, because I don't know you. Thanks for reducing the quantity of strangers in my Facebook. :)

Hish, but YA , I still feel guilty. I'm sorry anyway. You said that I'm sombong. Ya maybe. That's true. But only in chat thingy. Because I don't feel like want to chat with the people I don't know. That's me. 


Why bah I take this thing seriously? Hurm. Jill, Jill.........


ANYWAY, SORRY. 


-_________-

I miss my FAMILY

Woahhh, breakfast biskut ja. Tapi thanks God as long as ada makanan ^^ apa sy mau buat hari ni ar? krja rmh n assgnment la kli ni plus kmas meja yg slalu serabut~ haish. 

Macamna arr Sabah skg? Okla kli kn.. harap dorg smua ok ja.. I love Sabah and everything in it. Erm, x sbr mau blik Sbh, hehe xpa 1 months and half lg.. mau tgk khwin c Cyca. :'( Sy sdih btl dia mau khwin sda, sbb sy ingat lg, dia yg babysit sy dlu............hehe :'( sy rindu btl dia, dia yg jaga sy tym mumy ada krja, tym mumy sakit, tym sy baby2 dlu.. haish, cpat btl bh msa ni berlalu, things changing, times driving too fast. trus sy pun TUA suda...mcm bru smlm sy Tahun 6. HAHA. mmg perasan la muda.. smua org pun mau tua jga bah lmbat laun. haish. 

aiya. rindu sy diri sy sndri tym baby. hehe, myesal sy x upload gmbar tu d lptop sy. aish. :'(

sy rsa byk btul perbezaan sy tym sy baby and skg. . mumy ckp tym sy baby sy putih btl mcm org cina, bulu mata pnjang mcm org India,n byk org puji sy putih, (as dlm gambar tym baby) haish tp skg. ...=.= mula2 sy fkir sbab dlu sy aktif sukan (menyalahkan sukan pla) , n then bla sy baca buku teks Pendidikan Sivik dan Kewarganegaraan, kan ada dia ckp psl adat resam and pantang larang? trus sy terbaca la something, kalau baby tu comel, jangan puji dia comel, nti anasir2 jahat pg turns the fact. HAHA, sy terfikirla, "haish, tulah orang2 tuuu yg ckp2 mcm tu" (menyalahkan orang lain pla) .haha, kdg2 sy ni kolot juga bh pla dr segi pemikiran. tapi sy bersyukur la jg apa yg Tuhan bagi. Setiap yang dia cipta itu indah bah :)

Masa itu memang 100% tidak boleh diputar tetapi kita boleh menentukan keadaan kita sendiri, sama ada buruk ataupun baik :)

Aish xtau la apa sy mgarut ni pagi2, sy just rindu kluarga sy bah kali ni. I love them so much, more than myself and I will do everything as long as they're happy even if I have to sacrifice myself.

I love being me, and I love my life now <3

Prayer

Lord, I ask that You give me a new awareness of the awesome plans You have for my life. Help me to stop dwelling in the past, and to let go of all regret, sorrow and bitterness. Fill my life with new purpose and meaning, and use me to make a difference in people's lives for your glory. Thank you for a new beginning and fresh start.

AMEN.

Let's sleep with me -___-

It's 3.34 and I just begin to doze off. Finally my Language Description PPT is almost done or considered as done, just have to edit it a little bit.

Thanks Lord for this day, have a nice dream peeps :)

Don't wake me up tomorrow, I just want to sleep :DDDD

So tired ..

For: YOU.

I guess I wanna live life like this. I don't wanna care too much about him anymore. I don't want to get jealous. And I just want to live happily with my friends, classmates, family and the most important is my Christian life. I want the old Jill back. :) I'll think about serious relationship in next 5 years :) Now, focus on my study first ! Want to enjoy and live my life to the fullest before someone that I might love so much in the future share everything with me :) But for now, let me do everything I want :D ,without anyone hinders my desires :) I don't want people complain and criticize what I'm doing, whether it is good or bad. Don't judge me, I don't want YOU to judge me unless You're the one who died for me and forgive all my sins with the Precious Blood. :) I think you should think of your actions first before you look at me. Let me be what I want. 


And if you love me, stop controlling like you're already my husband.


 If you love me, let me do what I want to do, let me go where I want to go. 


If you really love me, you will wait me up to whenever, may be up to million years? 


If you really love me, you won't get angry even I be friend with your worst enemy. 


Know why? Because if you really love me, YOUR LOVE over everything. No one and nothing can reach up to your love. But when you got angry, YOUR ANGER over everything. When I do something you don't like, now UNTRUSTWORTHY take over the place of your love. 


Yes, question yourself. "Am I willing to wait for you as you request? Am I all this time make you happy? Am I all this time made you feel uneasy, feel uncomfy" Ask yourself. 


You're actually in bewilderment. Stop the unfairness lies in you. Stop commenting what I've done and what I will do. 


Hey you, it just because I never complain what you do and what you participate in your life. Because I simply know CHOICE is very important in life. When you give choice to a person you love in life, he/she would be happy throughout the day, months and perhaps the incoming years. It's all about that. Giving simple things in her life would brings many happiness in return. 


Let it makes a simple lesson to us. Wish you luck in your next relationship, give her tender love and understand her figurative words. Girl is the most complex "creature" on earth which very complicated to understand. However, your love is the key to everything. Your love is the key to her heart. Give her a chance and appreciate her. She might be stubborn and ego, but that is simply because she loves you, one and only. She might not showing that she loves you very much, and she cares about you but deeply in heart, she does. That's girl. They don't simply show things when they really do so much. And instead, she might showing that she lets her chatbox on over the night and day. But actually she only wants get some attention from you. She actually feels annoyed when unknown text and chat her, pretending that they have known each other well. She actually the happiest person in the world once you chat her and ask about her. 


Get to know her. Understand her more. Understand her by heart instead of appearance. 


Love her because she will love you more, more than anyone else does, more than you do. 
Trust her, when she try to avoid you, give her time. ANGER won't count much. Give yourself time to calm down. Give her time to miss you and text her back. 


The most important things is, UNDERSTAND her and BEAR IN MIND that this species is very fragile at heart. Hold them carefully with your love and care.


There's always hidden meaning in women's language, when they say, LEAVE ME ALONE, they actually say I NEED YOU SO MUCH, GO AWAY means HUG ME and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH in I DON'T WANT TO LOVE YOU ANYMORE.


When you think you have done good in your previous relationship, think about it once again, when you say "I'm changing for you", THINK ABOUT IT. She will shine once your changes push the switch. Meaning to say, her happiness is clearly shown if you really change. But if she's not, there something goes wrong.


I pray for all of us and God bless your next relationship, as long as you're happy, so do I :)




                                                                                                                                 alicegenevievejr

COLLOQUIALISMS AND SLANGISM

What is COLLOQUIALISMS? It's an expression used in informal speech, writing or paralinguisms.


For examples : y'all , gonna, wanna


But what is distinction between colloquialisms and slang?


According to linguists Ghil'ad Zuckermann , "slang refers to informal, lexical items used by a specific social group, for instance teenagers , soldiers, prisoners or thieves.


Colloquialisms is a lexical item used in informal speech, whilst the broadest sense of that term might include slangisms. One method of distinguishing between a slangisms and a colloquialisms is to ask whether most native speakers know the word, if they do, it is a colloquialisms. 


This is quite confusing but now I understand a  lil bit. :) Thanks for the notes. I think I often use COLLOQUIALISMS in my life, so what you gonna do to with me? What you wanna do? HAHA. This is fun . Gotcha ! 


Oya, example of slangism is YOU'RE (as well as colloquialism too )


You're beautiful ! :)