3.17 AM

It's 3.17 am, Feel satisfied because managed to finish all slides of Gerko Presentation for my group . Bet everyone relax today, baru hantar assignment, maybe not all of us aware of the tomorrow's presentation, I almost forgot,too. I don't know if the work would be accepted but I already try the very best. Started since 2 am. Not bad la kan. Oklah, my tired eyes need rest. Thank you for your cooperation! Muahh.

Jill!

Each time I urged myself to sabar when dealing with ppl, I'm able to do it, but whenever I urged myself NOT-TO-JEALOUS, it's very hard, mengalahkan soalan add maths, practically, mengalahkan benda-benda pelik freaking hard d dunia. kalau la ada UBAT-PENAWAR-JEALOUS, ataupun PIL-PENGHILANG-MEMORI-SESUDAH-TERDETIK-RASA-JELES kan bagus. x pyhla ssh hati fikir benda mcm ni, bgs ssh hati sampai pengsan fkir assgnment.


Dengan ini sy mengisytiharkan, Jill Erice Jimmer adalah creature paling tortuous di dunia.






Jill, grow up. 

19th August 2011

Peeps, suddenly something popped out in my mind. No money, no talk No pain, no gain. (My status for today)


Good night :) God bless you!

_________________________
I have added cool emoticons to this message.
To see them go to http://x.exps.me?e56f91589e8496217cf4d4c4cae0ade5

I'M REALLY GETTING OVER YOU

I found your picture in my laptop
Still got your sweater in my closet
And all your letters in my boxes

And people ask me how I'm doing?
But every question still has you in
I say I'm fine
And I never think about you
As you're almost forgotten

I'm getting over you!
I'm getting over you most of the time!
If I say it like I mean it
Then maybe I'll believe it like it's true


I've been playing all the songs you hated
As if it is the one that I much loved
And I'm having fun
And I'm better off without you
And I think it's what I want


Even if it takes forever
I'll get myself together
I've been doing be so much better





and you'll never win the heart back 
since the very moment you dropped it.

MYSELF IS MY OWN FOE

I HATE MYSELF .

To my dearest, K10 , and friends :)

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this place we won't be coming back
No more hanging out because we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now because you don't have another day
because we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that day in October
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
And we would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
FRIENDS FOREVER!

So if we get the job
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned here?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Eugene always be the genius man ever?
Still be Karen with her yoga?
I keep, keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us around?Will these memories fade when we leave this town?
:)

Thanks God :)

Tired. Just got back from early dinner. Have a lol time all the way. Take a nap for a short while ! Got discussion at 830, must wake up before 730!


'gudnite' !


Thanks Father for this beautiful day. I love you so much. And help me to appreciate things around me, Amen.

Positive.

whoah ;)


Feel so contented and satisfied with my life today. Straight after class, I continued my BM Assignment and managed to finish it completely before 5 pm! :) So, tonight, I've less work to do, erm actually there's many works await every single of us. so, having realized that, I continued our Gerko Assignment and yeah, thanks God, and special gratitude to library's book and to internet and knowledge that we gained from Che Siah. Softball, love the theories more than practical =.='


However, more and more works await us. It just the matter how we handle and manage the time. When you determine to finish even 3000 words essay in 1 hour, nothing is impossible. You can do it. And just do it. But again sometimes, yup, the sources are hard to find, so pandai-pandai jalah kn kita sebagai student.


Ignore and forget the bitterness, llive your life to the fullest! :)




Assignments:
PM 1, PN, BM, done!


Gerko, SS- Half


God bless!

I LOVE ALICE JILL ERICE JIMMER!

hidup mesti selalu gembira dan gembira dan terus gembira! ^_^

walau apapun yang terjadi, terus gembira!

bila anda sakit hati, terus senyum!

^____^

What the. -______-
once upon a time! -__-

Sometimes, I feel I want to own big eyes but I think I'm grateful what I have, what God had given me :]

Anger

ANGER can destroy everything. EVERYTHING. 

Last night, I went so angry. Till now, I don't remember what I'd say. That was the climax of anger in my life, for now. No one embarrassed me before to that extend. I don't expect everyone to respect me, but that's the fact, he's the one and only person in my life had made me crazy like that. 

Until now, SUNDAY MORNING (7 August 2011) I can still feel the sense of anger in me. I don't know why me? WHY me? I never disturb people's life, I never wear dress yang ganggu hidup orang lain, I never expose myself and they get angry with me. I think I just being moderate in this whole life. Why don't he curse the other girl? He such just hypocrite. HYPOCRITE! Depan orang lain baik pla but when I behave more or less like them dia marah pla! Curse me pakai baju seksi d fb la , where?where? ! :'(

Till now, I still can't hold my anger and this is the first time I behave like this in life. 

I feel like I want to cry when he say "go pengsan la!" ...I know I'm a weak person, I don't need you to mention that for over and over again. .and that is not a good saying from bf to gf :( :(

I miss my family and when I feel like this di tempat orang, I feel alone, there's no one I can rely on here. TOTALLY ALONE. They always say 'kau kuat bah'.. 'kau tida apa2'..even though when it comes to real life, I'm not. But their love brighten my day, every single words that they say, cheer me up.

May be if you say sorry after this, may be I just smile, because the sorry is already immune to me. YOU AND I have been saying it for million times and the sorry didn't change anything. The precious sorry is meaningless.

I cried every time I turn to CF page. I really don't expect this to happen to me. Active worshiper turn to passive one. I miss my primary and secondary and also when I was in Sarawak. Everything is clear and I satisfied as I took part in the activities, sing songs, till now I can still memorize all the songs that I've learnt, how much I miss that. But I feel that inferior here. Every time I feel like want to post something d CF page, I can't, saya rasa saya tak layak. I withdraw myself. And when I first go to CF this semester, I feel hurt when my own bf say something that really make me tak layak untuk pergi CF lagi. I expect him to give me strength but he really make me so down. May be he didn't feel it, because I always keep everything in heart..................May be I shouldn't go again..

Every time I read Bible and pray Rosary in my room, I cried and I feel so small. I feel peace and  being accepted by the Father, even though I'm sinner. ALLELUIA LORD..

Sometimes, somehow I feel like dying. I feel like every emotions and feelings that I convey in my life are fake. Still, I'm thankful to God because I still able to breathe.

TO MY BELOVED, I don't blame you for this. May be it's my fault. My fault for bringing you along in my world, in my life full of complications, and if you think it's a mistake for you because have me in my life, then you know what to do, yet I appreciate what I have in my life, it's you.

 

OCTOBER ME :)

OCTOBER

Clairvoyant : 

Seldom people believe I have this. Certain people. It scared me, sometimes. Well, what do you expect when you tell friends about this? Love you more? None such thing.

Nature-lover: 

Yes, I am !

You are a born-leader: 

Am I? No longer me.

People look up to you:

 Ea? Nope. Don't think so.

Amiable: 

Not that extend. Easy-going, ya.

Honest: 

I think so :)

More emotional than practical: 

HAHA, unfortunately, ya. TEARS is synonym to me.

Rebellious at times: 

Of course. HAHA

Totally independent: 

Totally?? "Semi-total" , ya.

Good looker:

 I have my own perspectives, yet, I don't tend to judge people. 

Clever: 

Clever? Say ya for primary and secondary education. Well, I'm getting old, now, I tend to forget things. >.<

Faithful towards family, friends and your love:

 Break my heart into million pieces, hit me on the face, still, I won't find another family, another friends and another love, because no one on this earth can replace them. You don't throw precious diamonds that hurt your hands with their quality while holding them. 

You give importance where due: 

That's me. Never take things for granted. That's the reason why I always get hurt even when it comes to small things :'(

Dedicated and hard working: 

Ya, at times. But usually the qualities come in the brink of last minute. >.<

FAINTED

I could feel the sunburn on my skin during sort of long walk from night market to IPG. Everything was okay back then until the moments I reached my room. I knew something went wrong with me, I tried to ignore that feeling, I changed my baju kurung and pretending there were nothing not so right. Eating, texting, . . looking on the previous lesson's paper. .


Till I feel something very painful hit in my head. Great dizziness. I laid down on my bed, blurred vision. I was fainted. I know it's coming back. Since last two weeks, I felt dizzy in a specific period of time, my leg cramped. 


I could hear my room  mate calling me, put her hands on my forehead, I tried to speak but I can't. Till I realized that I fainted for the second time. 


I don't know what to do, seriously. My mum is not here, my besty is not here, the someone who help me went  through all these those days has completely disappeared in my life. I feel totally empty. What should I do? I can't recall any of the things that I've done to reduce this pain. 


Why now, why in Semester 3, why should now, why not last semester. 


I love seeing people who live healthy life, it seems that they have zero problem. Sometimes, somehow, I want to be like them to, even for a very while, that would be enough. 


I know I'm smiling everyday, people don't recognized me as I bear very hard burden in my life. They don't see me as what I am. But I'm glad for that because I love to see them happy. 


Yes, this is me. One of the unfortunate people. I carry burden that people don't see. People ignore me . When I listen to other's problem, I put myself in theirs and in silence I will cry for them. 


But I strongly believe Jesus have prepared something for me. Something that world itself cannot give. 


For a moment, I hope no one read this post. .